the book (complete)

the final manuscript under review at Amazon as a to be published ebook

Apr 04, 2024

Patrick Roland Watters—an autobiography

by an anonemoose monk, formerly Anon E. Moose 🫎

Preface: Throughout my life I have been told by others that I should write a book. I suppose they have had different reasons or expectations of what such a book would be about? And, being a storyteller since childhood I could craft something of fiction, or nonfiction, or something in between. But within the one great story are millions of other stories, and associated with them are billions more. So why make something up when there is so much good material to draw from, including my own. So it is that I finally, in my eighth decade on this planet, set myself to writing that book. Yes it’s an “autobiography” but in my own “confabulous verbigerator” way it will be full of stories—some altogether true, some “enhanced”, and still others mostly fabrications.

Introduction: Why would anyone want to read about the life of some obscure person who has never done anything truly noteworthy, or been famous for anything good or bad? Well perhaps because within this life are moments and incidents that you may identify with, and also which may peak your own imagination and touch your heart?

I will reach back into time for some of it, tracing the twisted roots of my ancestry, which will be the first place many readers will find their own heritage. Then my own beginning which is a story worth telling by itself, at least in my own mind and heart. Moving forward there will be numerous stories of other people and places that intersect my own and give it interest and color…the little, ordinary stuff that becomes extraordinary in the telling.

There will be joys, but of note much suffering and pain—for the best stories always include those times which must be overcome…therein the “epic” aspect of even the most mundane life. There will be faith and the lack of faith. Always choices too which lead to more stories.

I expect along the way I will be editing with the help of my anam cara and family—adding things I’ve forgotten, correcting other things, and maybe just eliminating something “useless”…but is anything truly useless?

Anyway, if you’ve got your hands on a copy of this by chance, I hope you will enjoy the journey and its sights and scenes as it unfolds. Oh, and one more thing—a character (alter ego?) will appear that has been my “pen name” beginning in my teen years, Anon E. Moose, and then in my own “golden season”, anonemoose monk or }:- a.m.

Chapter One—Twisted Roots

Before my own story begins at my birth, there is much to set the stage…multitudes of ancestral stories that we all have in common from our shared cradle. My own trace back to an ancient kingdom called Dalriada (Dál Riata) on my paternal side, to the family of Job (biblical) and Volga Germans from my mother’s family.

Science, including the mapping of human DNA, has helped us discover our common beginning in Olduvai Gorge of East Africa, and from there to the Middle East where the great migrations extended westerly and easterly. My own story arises out the westerly migration (not the so-called “Great Migration” of the 20th century) out of Eden.

[References:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olduvai_Gorge

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-modern_human_migration

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A1l_Riata

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Germanic_peoples buried within this group were the Hebrew people including my own maternal family descended from Job]

The Watters family can be traced back to the 5th through 8th century. Clan Ó hUaruisce from which the Gaelic “uisce” (pronounced “whiskey” meaning water) gave rise to our modern Watters—they which dwell by loch or sea. Here too is where I will begin to dig through the archives of my journal (the “notes” on my iPhone where stories abound). But before I start including journal entries, I must include my beloved grandmother Pauline Job’s ancestry. I don’t have much to go on about this old Jewish family other than its time farming the Volga River region of Russia as “adopted” Russian citizens before migrating to America prior to the Holocaust. They settled in Dakota Territory in what has become known as the Volga Triangle or German-Russian Triangle. And that is where my father met my mother…more about all that in a later chapter.

Oh dear…and now an impasse or at least a pause to decide if journal entries should go here, or later in my season where they were recorded? There is application to “twisted roots” as this first chapter is titled, but should they be included now, or later in this biography when they actually occurred? What think thee dear reader? No doubt too you may have other ideas that differ from my own here, but it is “my book” so please forgive if I don’t include yours. 😉🥰

Chapter Two— A Blizzard In Dakota

My parents met in the small farm town of Nashua, Montana. Everett Allen one of eleven children born on the farm of James and Eliza. There were more children who didn’t survive, details were provided to me by maternal grandmother, Pauline. Alice, my mother, was one of two surviving children (more tragic infant deaths) along with her brother Milton. My Mom and Grandma owned and operated the cafe in town while stepdad Roland T. “Scotty” Erb ran the local gas station and car repair. After WWII my father and mother married and finished college at Montana State in Bozeman. They took my Dad’s civil engineering degree to Riverdale, N.D., a government town where the Army Corps of Engineers was constructing Garrison Dam on the Missouri River.

In a record blizzard in the winter of 1950/51 I was born in the little duplex we shared with a young Lakota family. They had their own son that same winter. Our time in Riverdale was short-lived. We moved first back to Nashua, then to Redding, CA where my father went to work in his older brother’s paving and grading business. A while later Dad would secure a job with the State of California and Sacramento became our lifelong home. All three of my siblings were born in Sacramento.

Montana remained the big family home for decades to come. Summers always saw our extended crew, including lots of cousins, descend on the home now in town as well as the ranch out between Nashua and Fort Peck. Those years growing up and having cousins nearby were happy for the most part. But happiness is often temporary or simply an illusion that hides brokenness and suffering.

Chapter Three— Dark Clouds Over Sunny California

Childhood years seemed normal compared to all our neighborhood friends and families. But my father’s bipolar depression coupled with PTSD from horrible WWII experiences began to take a toll him, and effect our whole family. My Mom did her best to hold things together, but things gradually unraveled. While I enjoyed my high school years and still have lifelong friends from that time, it was a tough season for all of us. My brother and next youngest sister had their own struggles. Baby Colleen was a bright spot for Dad as she became a young horsewoman and chip off the old whisperer’s block.

We actually moved to Corvallis, Oregon for a season. Dad was hoping a change might help and we had his closest brother’s family there too. But his mental illness followed him there and before long we were back in Sacramento. There were bright spots and good memories despite Dad’s struggles. He started the first integrated Scouting program in our community and received awards from the Boy Scouts for his efforts. I benefitted greatly from the outdoor and Native American education during those years. It would benefit me years later, even after my own long season of depression, but that’s a story for a later chapter.

[I keep finding myself preferring the shorter entries in my journal, on Facebook or “substack” versus this book thing…]

Chapter 3.1– Clara Way

Our family’s first decade was spent on Clara Way…with the Coats, Webb, Gunderson, Kip & Kim, Dixon and others who came and went—the Air Force base meant transitory neighbors. All the moms stayed home, cars were shared, dads carpooled, life was mostly idyllic.

Fruitvale Elementary and Campos Verdes Junior High played a large part in everyone’s lives, but the street was where we played and forged friendships…technology had not yet disturbed human relationships as it does now.

This time had its tragedies of course—the tragic death of Chauncey and Irene’s parents in a car accident (the kids just disappeared after that). My own journey of injuries and hospitals began with an elderly woman backing out of her driveway and hitting me on my tricycle…broken nose but thankfully not much other damage. But at seven or was it eight years, a major incident…while on a family Cub Scout outing at Donner Lake I sustained a bloody traumatic brain injury in a rock slide. Two weeks in a hospital in Reno, NV—surgery to piece my skull back together including a piece that had lodged in my left temporal lobe. My life as child math and physics prodigy was over…the right brain learned to compensate for the damaged left. But life went on…including JFK’s assassination…more troubling for the adults as we kids didn’t grasp the gravity of such an event. Yes, life went on…

[During those years there were lots of short stories that I would later capture, including all those I wrote and later published in the erstwhile Monthly Magpie…another story for a later chapter. The airplane crash, Calvin and Eddie’s antics, street football scrapes, eggs and Halloween, Scout camp outs and more.]

Until that mental health detour to Corvallis…an unsettling time for all of us. First there was life in a small apartment for Mom and us as we awaited the end of the school year and moving up to Oregon. That brief season was hard on everyone, and did not provide the relief my father sought. We would move back as Dad returned to work with the State, but home was now newer Foothill Farms, east of North Highlands—new friends and neighbors.

Chapter 3.2— Elbert Way

Though we still had the spectre of Dad’s mental health hovering over our family, my own high school years were generally happy ones. My brother Chuck struggled with his own issues, as did sister Linda. Again though, little sister Colleen and the horse life of Rio Linda and Elverta was respite for my Dad. (His tragic but eventually understood suicide wouldn’t come until much later when we were all adults.)

Our Mom went to work teaching elementary school and Dad continued to carpool with other dads from the new neighborhood. I was fortunate to meet two good friends at summer school before the start of my sophomore year at Foothill High School. Bev and Vickie remain lifelong friends, and they provided the foundation for my time there. New friends through them, sports and more. Greg, Ray, Dwight, Bill and others too. Ironically, my later wife Hazel was part of the group too—but again that’s another story for a later chapter.

[High school was of course also that time of “discovery” in many ways, including sexuality (eros)…prudence and respect prevent me from divulging names or details here, but my memories are precious, let’s leave it at that.]

Senior year arrived accompanied by own beginnings of depression and anxiety. I knew something was changing for me when I lost interest in sports—no track in Spring. Then too the grad trip to Disneyland with Bev on the bus should have been delightful…but it wasn’t.

Ah yes, The Journey called life has many seasons. In retrospect, being able to embrace them all and persevere through the difficult ones is what grows us emotionally and spiritually.

Chapter 3.2 Hoofnote: I could probably have a whole subchapter here on the shared “adventures” of Peggy Acheson and me? Of parents struggles with mental illness, brothers’ problems, steadfastness of her Dad and my Mom, the Dixon connection and more. 🥰

Chapter Four— College & Dark Nights (of the soul)

This next season of life nearly led to my own death (suicide). I went away to college in Tacoma, WA—Pacific Lutheran, hoping to play football while pursuing pre-med studies. Depression derailed it all as I began self-medicating with alcohol and marijuana. Shallow friendships, no female companionship, failing in classes (1.0 GPA), loss of athletic “grant” all led to a hasty return home and enrollment at community college (American River/ARC).

Living back at home with everyone again wasn’t ideal. Brother Chuck’s problems continued and caused stress for everyone. The ringing of the phone at night brought fear, even terror for my parents, and now me too. I tried to play football at ARC with good friend Ray Ingersoll, but the knee injury sustained in my junior year of high school had worsened, including another that occurred at PLU. My depression and anxiety continued and increased as I avoided medical help (watching my Dad’s struggles with meds caused me to fear that route). The loss of direction in my life coupled with mental health eventually led to a frightening psychotic episode (breakdown) that nearly caused me to take my own life!

As I suffered through sleepless nights filled with paranoia and terror, I sought comfort and relief in human companionship. By this time I was terrified of both alcohol and drugs, the latter of which likely precipitated my breakdown that one fateful night?! I was majoring in biology at ARC and taking classes with high school friend Hazel (not a romantic relationship back then, but part of our larger group). Long story short, we would eventually decide to get married…me for much needed companionship and some semblance of order and stability, her to get out of a home where her father was a weekend alcoholic. Our “marriage of convenience” enabled us both to continue college, including graduation from Sac State with our biology degrees.

Chapter Five— Married Life (and divorce)

Hazel and I would eventually both work as park rangers for Sacramento County. During that time we bought our first home in the burgeoning Natomas area of Sacramento. I still struggled with depression and anxiety, but our relationship helped me sustain some kind of normalcy.

Hazel would eventually begin teaching at Encina High School, while I pursued different seasonal ranger and biologist jobs; Cal Fish & Game and BLM North Coast ranger most memorable. Finally deciding I needed a career opportunity, I went to work as an environmental analyst for Sacramento County. Life for Hazel though was not necessarily happy and fulfilling living with a chronically depressed husband. This led to her seeking comfort outside of our marriage. An affair which ended for her led to her moving out, and thus began a two year separation that would eventually end in our divorce. But that period held a lot more in my own life…

While still working at Sacramento County, I leaned hard on good friends at work. They got me into running and cycling, which I eventually became obsessed with. I joined a club, Capitol City Flyers, and found a whole new circle of support. My long distance club was an eclectic delightful group who called themselves the Freeport AA. Dawg, the Gnome and others were crazy ultra runners, but Judy Walker was a new heartthrob (only really known to me) that gave me new life through running. She ran for and with both clubs, and chasing those long beautuful legs…well let’s just say my psychiatrist would later tell me it cured my depression…normalized my brain chemistry.

[Of course there are many zany stories that unfolded during this time…weekends of running and partying included. Relays, marathons, triathlons and just the days and evenings of training with others.]

While all the running and triathlon training (yep got into the Ironman thing too) had me feeling better again, it also stimulated my dormant sexuality. That’s another series of stories I will leave for quiet, intimate and discreet conversations. But it would all eventually lead to God’s (unbeknownst to me and Patti at the time) blessing on the remainder of my life! Yes, a humongous turn of the story and journey!

Chapter Six— Patti Padia…the beginning of the rest of the story

Part of my reenergized life included a penchant for organizing parties that became epic around town. Always with a theme and good sound system, I partnered with colleague Rob Sherry to put on some memorable events that all sorts of folks attended; workmates, club members, and all their friends! From “Chapeau Brewski One and Two” on board a floating bar called The Charthouse, to the grandiose “Punk/New Wave” event that nearly destroyed Rob’s house…motorcycle in-house, helmet ⛑️ piercing ceiling, etc.

In the midst of all this “out of control” revelry was Patti Padia, young occupational therapist at UC Davis Med Center and erstwhile girlfriend of Rob’s. Patti and friend Liz were regulars at the parties, even though she and Rob had broken up. The first time I saw Patti she was coming through the front door of Rob’s house for one of the parties. Khaki cutoffs, slinky tank top, and an old leather gaucho hat with all her wavy dark hair pouring out from under it…and a smile that “lit me up” from way across the room! I was smitten.

I later asked Rob if he objected to me pursuing Patti, he was happy I was interested. And so began something special that we both had felt that night. I had called Patti to see what she was up to a coming weekend. She said that she and her roommate were going to Old Sac…Fanny Ann’s was a popular night spot back then. I said that my friend Norm and I were going to The Union to listen to my friend Deane’s band. We all decided to meet up there. Patti was secretly excited for this first “date”, but when she saw that Deane was a woman she wondered if things were not what she had thought or hoped? Eventually I introduced Deane to the group and things became more clear. Deane had been good for me, we often did open mic gigs at Fox & Goose when I was recovering.

After the evening ended I followed Patti and Cyndi home. Patti and I sat up all night talking, sharing our hearts in a way that I think surprised us both. We had no idea how time had passed until the morning newspaper hit the front door! It was a beautiful beginning to our relationship that has lasted over 40 years now. But there was a bit of a glitch, a “hiccup” before it all came to pass.

While I had been separated for two years, I had never pursued divorce, nor had Hazel. Patti was wise enough to say I had to sort out things if we were to continue. I immediately made an appointment with the head of psychiatry at Kaiser Hospital, best person I could think of to help me sort things out. He told me I was wise and thoughtful and could make the decision for myself. I was hoping he would tell me what to do?! I guess you could say I prayed deeply on it, though my faith was pretty distant at the time. But I knew enough to listen to my heart.

I filed for divorce and Hazel chose to be “nonrespondent”. We had already settled all property and money stuff by this time.

Chapter 7— PnP On P Street

As things rapidly progressed, I moved out of my rented room over near the Shepard Garden & Arts Center (McKinley Park, East Sac) and into the little masonry block duplex with Patti. Cyndi would eventually move out of 3518 P Street and leave it all to us. (It was about the same size as our current lil ohana home.)

PREGNANCY…Oops, unintended but such things happen. Our first “rocky stretch” mostly because Patti’s parents weren’t happy with the news. We had already planned a November wedding before this new year conception, but delayed it as my sister Linda was to be married that month. We did our best to calm things down on the family front while planning a March wedding (3/5/83)…they say second trimesters are good months? 😉

A beautiful ceremony at Casa De Los Ninos, supporting the Children’s Home…Judy Walker was my best “man”, Whiskey Before Breakfast serenaded all with delightful Celtic tunes, and we wed…all under God’s eyes even if we didn’t formally invite Them…such Grace.

Chapter 7.1— Honeymoon

Honeymoon you say?! How ‘bout a month in Europe traveling on a 1st Class Railpass?! With the baby bump beginning to show, we flew to Frankfurt where friends Rookie and Karen picked us up and took us home to Landscheid. Their lovely village home would be our base of travels for our time in Europe. The snow in Germany had Patti yearning for sunshine and warmth so we caught the Istanbul Express and headed toward Athens, Greece…eventually destination the isle of Crete.

Train travel was wonderful except for a stressful nighttime stop in the former Yugoslavia. Our railpass wasn’t honored in that country unbeknown to us. As an armed officer took me off the train, the engineer and student we were traveling with tried to assure Patti everything would be fine. Fare paid I returned to our car…phewww. Quite the adventure in Yugoslavia with many young men being boisterously sent off to military service at each station stop.

Finally arriving in Athens my hoped for pensione had apparently closed…the cabbie took us to a “flea bag” hotel in a seedy part of town that a cousin owned (at least that’s what we surmised?). After an uncomfortable night we couldn’t wait to catch the ferry to Crete. NOTE: we’ve never been much for big cities, monuments and the like…nature and small towns and villages are our “piece of cake.” We did see the Parthenon but didn’t visit it.

Upon arrival at the port city of Iraklion, we took a bus to Malia and its delightful little hotel. The proprietor and her adult son took grand care of us for a week…just what Patti needed. Only us and a few Germans on holiday. Wonderful people and food, moped rides across the island, iconic windmills, and delightful old men drinking Turkish caffe and yelling at each other in good humor.

Revived, we caught another ferry which took us to Brindisi, Italy. From there, the train to Milano. This time my pensione was all set for us, a short walk from the train station, and also within walking distance to all the sites, restaurants and bike shops we wanted to visit. Great food and people once again, but the village beckoned so it was off to Alba, home of the Italian school of oenology.

A beautiful 5 star hotel for $10 a night, Barolo $4 a bottle, the US dollar worth 1700 lire Italian!!! Quiet walks in town and the surrounding family vineyards and wineries. One could do worse…Piemonte is heaven in my mind and stomach.

We took the train back to Milano where we picked up a custom made tandem bike frame (Francesco Freschi master builder for Pogliagi, Guerciotti and others, retired to his own little shop.) Along with two more racing frames for triathlete and Mom to be Patti. Then back to Landscheid to unload the bikes before heading out west to France. But not before Rook & Kar treated us to visits of Bitburg and Trier where Bill (Rookie) went to high school (military brat).

Beaune in the Dijon region was again delightful. Burgundy wines and caves. Patti got a favorite insulator from our hotel (with permission) by standing on my shoulders. She treasures her little green “Pillsbury Doughboy.” Super bullet train from Lyon to Paris (no we didn’t visit, not fans of big cities, etc remember) then to the Bordeaux region and small towns with world famous wineries and wines.

Wish we could have done more, including the French and Italian Riviera’s, Costa Brava and Spain, but time was running out. Back to Landscheid, pack up those bike frames for air transport, and back home to Sacramento to await the arrival of Dr. Kyle Padia Watters…what a trip he had!

Chapter 8— 60th & 3rd Avenue, Tahoe Park

With one son and another on the way, we bought a little 2bdrm 1bth home that also had a little den off its laundry room. The den would become Karly’s nursery while brothers Kyle and Cody shared one of the bedrooms.

Great little neighborhood and neighbors, including the Kallet’s and Maddox’s from my workplace. Soc and Ann Woupios next door, beekeeper Jerry Adams across the street. We were raising the family at Fremont Pres. Church by now…having submitted our lives to the One In Three Who blessed us.

Sunday school teaching, Bible studies, elder ordination and all that good religious stuff. Truly blessed to sit under the teaching of Darrell Johnson during his time there. Not to mention opportunities with Jan & Eugene Peterson, F. Dale Bruner, John Ortberg, Dallas Willard, Philip Yancey and others.

But this chapter is short because that little one bathroom house was quickly outgrown!

Chapter 9— South Land Park…HOME

Patti really wanted to move back to East Sac, but prices were getting nuts by 1989, so our agent convinced her to look south of William Land Park. Again, God’s blessing as we got a 2K square foot, 4 bedroom, 3 bath home on a 1/3 of an acre lot for $160K. The property is currently valued at over a million$$$ with our little ohana home on it, 1.6 million to be exact. We aren’t going anywhere from here.

Growing, bright, athletic kids at great public schools, wonderful neighborhood walking distance from the park, zoo, Fairytale Town and shopping necessities. Couldn’t ask for more. Now our grandkids are all nearby and enjoying the benefits too.

I could probably end my book right here. Sure there’s more to tell; colleges, etc for now adult kids (parents themselves) and all that entails. I’m not one for long, belabored and structured literary works. I’ve always preferred the short story or simply telling stories. Maybe this is where I simply start inserting journal entries? Could actually be an entertaining way to conclude a book by a confabulous verbigerator?! 🤪 Trips I’ve taken alone, or we’ve done together—Reunions of high school and family—Ministry of PnP On The Road…yea, maybe just finish with journal entries, kind of an epilogue of sorts? Just the way Anon E. Moose 🫎 would like it, or even an old anonemoose monk? }:- a.m.

We’ll see…

Journal Entries—an epilogue of sorts

Firstly, explaining “where” I am today:

3 April 2024—

The fusion of science and faith is a beautiful collision indeed, enabling us to “see” Creator at work, Divine LOVE continually making all things new. Great Mystery’s Revelation…

https://cac.org/daily-meditations/resurrection-and-incarnation/

Making sense of pain and suffering…looking forward in hope to all things new.

https://henrinouwen.org/meditations/god-is-a-god-of-the-living/

Both of these meditations affirm my own continuing “Christian” faith. While I also continue to see “Christ plays in ten thousand places,” (Gerard Manley Hopkins in Kingfishers Catch Fire) including other religions and faith traditions, I have chosen to keep walking this Emmaus Road… As a “hole in a flute that Christ’s breath moves through.” (Hafiz, Sufi mystic and poet) }:- a.m.

Further explanation and a bibliography—

Fulfillment of all law, prophets, religion and philosophy -- the Kingdom "at hand"

All of my favorite books and authors on spirituality (Christian in this season of my life) share this great Truth (above). They may arrive at it differently, they may be talking about different aspects of life, but the overarching theme is this Truth of the Cosmic Christ of God; Lover of all souls, Relationship at the Center of All, Divine LOVE, in Whose image all humanity is created.

And, in this season, I see now that all the wonderful truths I saw while studying world religions and more are pointing to this Truth. I am the Calormen warrior come face to face with Aslan. (C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle, final book in the Chronicles of Narnia)

So, whether you are reading Lewis, or another of the hundreds of contemporary authors, or you go back into history and read #DevotionalClassics, I believe you will see too the "golden thread" common to all. Here are a couple lists, one from an individual who left out many of my favorites and another list from a Christian bookseller: https://www.sharefaith.com/blog/2015/07/top-10-christian-authors/, https://www.christianbook.com/page/christian-authors. A few years ago while studying for a graduate degree I came up with an annotated bibliography of all the books and authors I used in my studies, but now even that list has expanded. I will include it as a "Hoofnote" below for any who may be interested. };-)

My point in this already lengthy post/reflection is to suggest three shorter meditations/reflections that encompass what I see all of my favorites pointing to. Oh by all means read the others as they expand on Holy Scripture in the Spirit of Truth, but return here (to these three, a trilogy, a "holy trinity" if you will, of Truth).

https://cac.org/love-needs-face-2018-01-15/
https://cac.org/incarnation-2018-01-25/
https://cac.org/at-one-ment-not-atonement-2018-01-21/

[Yes, these are all from Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation, but again I see much from my favorites (including Willard, Foster and others, and also those ancients discussed in the books Devotional Classics and Spiritual Classics). And like all my favorites, Rohr will cite others and Holy Scripture.]

Herewith now that annotated bibliography from years past, and a preface of my own:

Contemplation - the preparation

If in contemplation both the question and the answer to "Who is God?" come together (fusion) in our heart and soul, how then do we "position" ourselves to "hear and see"?

Ultimately, the answer is complete and total surrender and submission to LOVE, God, Lover of our souls. But there are ways we can prepare ourselves to reach that state of surrender.

The ancient "fathers and mothers", those monastics who sought God in the desert, both physically and spiritually, perhaps took "preparation" to the extreme, but there is much to learn from them. And, they too realized that at some point we must simply and humbly, "Go into your cell and close the door, and your cell will teach you everything."

The first "place" the ancient faithful went was to Holy Scripture, the God-breathed writings that though coming from the hand of man, truly come from the heart of God. The practice called in Latin "lectio divina" (holy reading) is to "study" the Scriptures (and other readings too) in a state of surrender and submission to the word (and Word which is active and alive). [In Thomas Merton's "New Seeds of Contemplation", the modern day monk explains the "Go into your cell", but he too practiced lectio divina in his own life.]

As the apostle Paul in the Spirit of Christ wrote, "All scripture is God-breathed and useful . . . ", so then where to start if we are new to this, or to return to often in our Journey? Each of us will discover passages that touch our heart and soul over our lifetime, if we stay with it, "a long obedience in the same direction" toward our true Home in God, Relationship at the Center and Lover of our soul, and simply, humbly surrendered to Their "unforced rhythms of grace".

When others have asked me where to begin, I suggest its best to begin with the New to discover later the Truth in the Old. Therefore, I recommend starting with Jesus; the Cosmic Christ of God, Incarnation and Perfect Revelation. Begin at the beginning so to speak, but also mysteriously the end, "Alpha & Omega".

Luke, John, Acts & Romans -

The books of the Bible titled Luke, John, Acts and Romans are indeed a beautiful place to begin the Journey in Faith. Therein we will discover both the heart of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the heart of the Lover of our souls, God. Then continue on into the beautiful letters of the New Testament (the epistles). In these writings, Christ Jesus through the Holy Spirit will reveal the Truth to us, including a proper understanding of the Old Testament. The New will often reference the Old but in deeper revelation of the Truth, as Jesus said, "I have not come to abolish the law and prophets, but to fulfill them". So begin with Jesus.

For Patti and I the Journey has had many twists and turns, though always headed toward Home. We have endured trials that have driven us deeper "into God", and led us to other writers who share their own journeys and experiences in the hope that it may help others along the way. So, while always giving priority to the Word, Christ and the Bible, we have read and recommend others too.

Devotional & Spiritual Classics (or fast-becoming such) -

I (Pat) chose to develop (with God's direction) my own doctoral program focused on spiritual formation and discipleship (life in Christ). This adventure late in my life included a search for books old and new which could help others like myself navigate the Journey toward Home. I am grateful to God in Christ Jesus for all the resources, people and organizations I've met and learned from and continue to be assisted by. As part of my studies, I developed an annotated bibliography of resources to share with others. Many of these books and resources are "go to's" for Patti and I, as well as being tools we use for discipleship with others. Of course, even after all this study, the Ultimate goal is union with the Lover of our soul, and that in its richest form happens in complete and total surrender, contemplation, the contemplative life.

For those who may be interested, here (below) is the annotated bibliography:

Books and Authors on Discipleship & Spiritual Formation --

An Annotated Bibliography (circa 2010)

Some basic instruction on making good use of this list: Briefly, discipleship is the journey of following Jesus, of being an apprentice to Him. It is the “discipline” we engage in, in order to prepare (partner) in our own spiritual formation, our transformation into the image of Christ, taking on His character by the power of the Holy Spirit. So, as you seek to use the resources on this list, to find those that suit you in your current season of life, your place on the journey, some basic guidelines will be helpful.

❖ The number codes (1-3) are my attempt to apply a general reading level or complexity to the books; 1 being the “easiest” to 3 being fairly “deep” stuff in my opinion.

❖ While my short annotations may be helpful, I always recommend using amazon.com to review, read excerpts, etc. to help determine which books to choose, those that will be meaningful for your particular “bent”, reading level and personality (style preference.)

❖ Also of great use are the websites for Renovare, Navigators and Intervarsity Press (IVP); all publishers and organizations who have wonderful resources for discipleship and spiritual formation. (links included at the end of this document.)

❖ I have broken the list into two categories; discipleship and spiritual formation. They are certainly directly related, but discipleship is what we do, the formation is the Holy Spirit’s work. It’s good to understand how the Spirit works in us, transforming us into the image of Christ, esoteric sometimes, but good. These readings require time and reflection, a reliance on the Spirit to “speak” to our hearts.

❖ This is simply my own personal effort, and as such, is certainly not a complete or exhaustive list, but merely at attempt at a “best of” in this area of Christian literature.

❖ You will probably find books missing that you would have included, that is not a condemnation of any authors or books, just my choice to limit the size of the list.

❖ You will also note an absence of “emergent church movement” literature and authors; McLaren, Pagitt, Kimball, Miller and others? I did this purposefully choosing what I felt were “timeless” or classic offerings, works that seem to be widely accepted across Christian thought and groups. That said, I have read and appreciated what they all have to offer as followers of Jesus.

❖ Lastly, (and to avoid being too lengthy here), the point ultimately is to apply the wisdom and practices (disciplines) we discover, to our own lives. And, begin living the abundant life as apprentices to Jesus, today!

So, in no particular order (random, so as not to appear to be recommending one book or author over another) here are books and resources. Have fun researching (searching for treasure) as suggested above, and enjoy the “spiritual direction” that these folks offer:

Discipleship:

The Lost Art of Disciple Making, by Leroy Eims [2] – a good general resource for pastors, churches and lay persons. An overview that includes history. Don’t forget to visit amazon.com for reviews, etc.

Waking The Dead, by John Eldredge [1-2] – Eldredge is an engaging author that entertains while he teaches. Touches on discipleship, among other areas of the Christian life. Ransomed Heart is Eldredge’s website presence for those who are interested in more from him. Some people question Eldredge’s theology, but his passion cannot be mistaken.

Transforming Discipleship, by Greg Ogden [2] – Ogden has been doing discipleship after the model of Jesus for many years. This book, along with Discipleship Essentials, are excellent tools for anyone who wants to engage in lifelong discipleship and disciple making. Solid one-on-one or triad formational resource.

The Great Omission, by Dallas Willard [2-3] – Willard is thought by some to be the most influential Christian author of our time. This work is aimed at elucidating the loss of discipleship as the cornerstone of the church. Renovation of the Heart is another work to be considered. No less than Eugene Peterson, John Ortberg, Francis Chan, Bill Hull and many others consider Willard to be their spiritual mentor. Great stuff from this author, although often very challenging intellectually. (Took me three times before I got Divine Conspiracy, which is another title for those seeking the deep stuff of discipleship. I give it a definite #3 level code!)

The Kingdom Life, by various authors [2] – A wonderful collection by several really good authors on discipleship and spiritual formation. I hesitate to say this, but if you can read only one book, get this one. The reason I hesitate is that another book on doing discipleship (a “how to”) would be a good (necessary) companion to this one.

The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg [1-2] – Ortberg is a pastor (well, I guess most of these authors have been at one time or another?) who writes with humor and wit, while getting his message across. He might call his writing a “dumbed-down” version of Willard?! A personal friend and pastor to my boys, hope he doesn’t find out I said that! J He has several books that are good; including If You Want to Walk on Water, You Have to Get Out of the Boat and The Me I Want To Be.

{Don’t forget, check out all these books at amazon.com to read excerpts and get a more detailed synopsis.}

Celebration of Discipline, by Richard Foster [2] – Many call Foster’s book the bellwether of the new discipleship movement (return to the first church). Great stuff on the spiritual disciplines (the practices of discipleship.) I consider this the first of a triad of great books on spiritual disciplines, and applying them (discipleship.)

Spirit of the Disciplines, by Dallas Willard [2] – You’ll see a lot of Willard in this list, and you’ll see him quoted in many other ones here. This book complements Celebration well, and even Willard will say that. Affirms discipleship as the practice of the spiritual disciplines and following Jesus.

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, by Donald Whitney [1-2] – Proven and practical “how to” book that I consider the third member of the triad here. While Whitney is a lesser known author, he does a wonderful job of taking the above two books and giving us direction in applying them to our lives.

Longing For God, by Gayle Beebe & Richard Foster [2] – I love this book for taking the ancient fathers and mothers offerings, giving us a sample of them, then helping us apply their experiences and teaching to our own lives in this time. This is somewhat of a compilation of earlier Renovare works; Devotional Classics and Spiritual Classics, both books I highly recommend in the spiritual formation category.

Crazy Love by Francis Chan [1] – Here is a truly passionate follower of Jesus who has taken the call to obedience very seriously. Chan appeals to a younger audience (he pastors my other son’s church, Cornerstone, in Simi Valley, but I’m not admitting any prejudice here.) J

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, by Eugene Peterson [2] – The author of The Message version of the Bible offers his own look at discipleship based on the Psalms of Ascent, an ancient, poetic look at following God. While not technically a discipleship book, it may suit those who don’t want a “cookbook” type of offering?

Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren [1] - The bestseller by a pastor of a megachurch (who coincidentally understands that megachurches don’t make disciples). This is a good book for seekers and others who are new to Jesus and His church.

Complete Book of Discipleship by Bill Hull [2-3?] – Probably my personal favorite on discipleship (even though I really appreciate The Kingdom Life, in which he authors a section.) Just a flat out excellent work, comprehensive with very good recommended suggested readings (yes, an author who isn’t afraid to recommend other books.) If you are looking for a contemporary overview on discipleship and spiritual formation, with lots of practical advice and references, this is it!

Down to Earth Discipling, by Scott Morton [1] – Short, easy to read and practical. Not looking for lots of theology and complex thought, this fits the bill.

Lifestyle Discipleship, by Jim Peterson [1] – Another offering from a NavPress guy (Hull and Morton are too), that gives basic life application guidance to discipling others.

Apprentice With Jesus, by Gary Moon [1-3] – 1-3 he says??!! Well, I guess that’s because I believe you can benefit from this book no matter where you are on the journey that is discipleship (following Jesus.) This book offers a 30 day experience in applied discipleship. A great way to inculcate the habit of discipleship into our lives, and to find some things that just “tick” with our hearts in this area.

{once again, don’t forget to use amazon.com to check out the books}

Spiritual Formation:

Devotional Classics, by Smith & Foster from Renovare [2-3] – I suppose if Hull’s book is my favorite on discipleship, then this one from Renovare is my personal favorite on spiritual formation/spiritual development? I love the sampling of the “ancient fathers and mothers” from 300 AD to the 20th century pillars of the church. (My wife is using this book in three different Bible study groups!)

Spiritual Classics, by Griffith & Foster [2-3] – The companion book to the above, and another “sampler”. These books introduce us to some wonderful saints, and often you will find one that you are inclined to read further. The Imitation of Christ has become a staple at my quiet time corner since “discovering” it (Thomas a’ Kempis) in these books.

Renovation of the Heart, by Willard [2-3] – I include Willard’s book here because I honestly felt it was . . . “spiritual” . . . it was about the Holy Spirit? Besides, most reviews refer to it as a spiritual formation book. This is inspiring, if not a little “heady” stuff . . . typical Willard.

Sacred Rhythms, by Ruth Haley Barton [2] – Wonderful, mystical, beautiful . . . no wonder, a female author in the list, finally. Sorry ladies, if you are wont to read female authors, please contact me as I have some suggestions, it’s just that the most widely read and accepted books on discipleship and spiritual formation seem to be from male authors. Okay, here are some names that I have personally found inspiring over the years; Rebecca Manley-Pippert, Joyce Meyer, Joni Eareckson Tada, Madeleine L’Engle, Ruth Bell Graham, Anne LaMott, Annie Dillard, Anne Morrow Lindbergh and others.

Conformed To His Image, by Kenneth Boa [2] – A virtual college seminary course in spiritual formation, but not too difficult to read and understand, (unlike some seminary textbooks.) J

Okay, that’s about it for my list of books. Yes, Karl Barth, Dietrich Bonheoffer, Martin Luther, J.I. Packer, A.W. Tozer and lots more are missing, I admit it. You want to read those guys, or T.F. Torrance, McGrath, and more, I suggest you enroll in a seminary. But, for most of us the list above will suffice.

Finally, I include the following links to those organizations/publishers I mentioned earlier above. They provide an abundance of resources besides books, and are good places to seek spiritual direction (if not from a personal “spiritual director”.) Always remember, Christ is our true teacher through the Holy Spirit.

http://www.renovare.us/

http://www.navpress.com/

http://www.ivpress.com/

http://www.ivpress.com/formatio/ (IVPress’ pages specifically for spiritual formation)

And for the final time, www.amazon.com for book reviews, excerpts, etc.

Only by Grace, Patrick Watters

http://pnpontheroad.blog.spot.com

Hoofnote to the above bibliography: I have more recently been reading a lot of Richard Rohr and related authors. I have been especially moved by the book "Falling Upward" which speaks well to me in this "golden season". Also, I am leaning into "New Seeds of Contemplation" by Thomas Merton, which is equally delightful. Of course at some point we must simply and humbly . . .

“Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” Abba Moses 330-405 A.D. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moses_the_Black

Final hoofnote: Of course the point of contemplation is our own transformation that we may "Go" and be the LOVE and Light of God in Christ Jesus to the world. Colossians 3:1-17 immediately comes to mind, and heart. }:- ❤️

SHEESH! This epilogue may end up being longer than the rest of the book?! 😳🤪

An entry while away on pilgrimage—13 May 2014

I woke up early (as always it seems on this trip) thinking of Patti and how strange it is to be traveling without my best friend and anam cara. But I also appreciate the notion that this is a gift from God to be on a solo pilgrimage or "vision quest." Even in this group I feel "solo" much of the time, and I believe that is as it should be, as God intends for me? Ireland will only accentuate the solitude of the journey.

Tourist or Pilgrim—19 May 2014

To visit a place as a tourist is too see and experience as an outsider. But to visit as a pilgrim is to come home as family.

The difference is between heaven and earth; to enter in if only for a short time, or to simply gaze upon a place from outside with a yearning for something more, or perhaps nothing at all, no awareness of the spiritual.

The pilgrim comes to a place he has been journeying to for quite some time and knows it like he has been there before. Again, the tourist only experiences as an alien seeing it all as new, or perhaps old, but not as alive.

Pilgrims journey outside of time, but tourists are always aware of time and schedule. One experiencing Kairos, the other merely a tyrannical clock.

The difference can be achieved only if we are intentional about preparation, then surrender and submission.

Tourists are traveling from one place to another, but the pilgrim is always journeying with his true home in mind.

Perhaps I have helped one to understand, perhaps not? All that have come by this way before me have tried to express their knowledge in words, as have I, but thin places are personal places it seems, and each one must seek to know them personally as they speak.

The pilgrim is always alone, even when in a group or crowd. For pilgrims can travel in groups, but the journey is always solo or no journey at all, only a vacation.

Again there is a different notion of time. To be wholly and holy present in each moment. It is not a haphazard thing, it takes preparation and intentionality.

To be present in humility, and to live and journey simply is the way of the pilgrim. Shunning earthly comforts and desires, as if stripping off the world's garments to receive the hermit's habit. In an even practical sense, to be a pilgrim is to practice spiritual disciplines as life itself, for example; not to seek a prayer life but to live a life that is prayer.

Again, I hope that my words have conveyed something of the spiritual nature of pilgrimage, but I am only a lowly traveler, and the Spirit is like the wind going here and there as He will.

May you be blessed by the Father, strengthened by the Son, and led by the Spirit in your own journey as a pilgrim. In the Name of the Three in One, the One in Three, Holy Trinity. Amen.

Places of the heart and soul—22 June 2016

I have journeyed in this "golden season" (maybe better called silver or grey?) in pilgrimage and vision quest as led by the Great Spirit. In the Scottish Highlands and Western Isles I felt a deep belonging, but also with a troubled longing or pain in my heart of hearts. This was a land my family knew well, but which they were removed from in brutal fashion. An even deeper pain and tears came over me on the fields at Culloden. Respite was found with the Brothers at Pluscarden Abbey before I crossed over to Northern Ireland and found home once again for the first time in The Rowte of County Antrim, with a visit to my namesake's first Irish home on Slemish. Here too though the pangs of persecution and stupid violence found their way into my heart and soul. Our family were both Celtic Catholic and Presbyterian and found troubled times as a monarchy and its church set upon us. We escaped much of the bloodshed of Derry and Belfast, but wounds remain nonetheless. The time though for me was good and educational in both mind and heart with thanks to many along the way.

Back in America there have been more places of the heart and soul to visit in honor of beloved and faithful family who went before. From Watters township in Butler County, Pennsylvania to the reservations and sacred lands of our Lakota family. Here too the groaning of heart and soul resonated with the Spirit; along the way of the Big Muddy and the Greasy Grass, including a place called Wounded Knee.

And now, I must simply share my story among the others, to honor yes, but more importantly to extend the message of HOPE that all my family knew. From the clergy at Dunluce and Bushmills to Grandfather Nicholas Black Elk I too have chosen the Good Red Road, the way of Christ, the way of sacrifice, the Way of LOVE.

Perhaps the living truth has best been found on the islands called Hawai'i? The spirit of aloha I have experienced in places here, especially on the Big Island up in Waiakea Uka have shown me what may still be possible for harried and hurried humanity? For Aloha is Love in the best sense, and Aloha ke Akua.

Mitakuye oyasin, beannacht De ort, Aloha ke Akua, aloha nui loa! }:- Celtic, Lakota & "Hawai'ian at heart”

The Watters; Irish Scoti of Dalriada, and Lakota too—7 March 2017

My pilgrimage of Celtic Christianity and family origins began several years ago by chance, but really by God's Providence. Many things and people came together to form this current pilgrimage (vision quest) that I'm on in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

The ancestry research was initially seperate from the later Celtic Christian pursuits, but they quite naturally, spiritually blended together over time. Many people, both believers and not, have been part of this journey for me; from pastors to self-proclaimed atheists God has used them all. I have intentionally leaned into the spiritual disciplines and am grateful to God and the communities of Northumbria and Renovaré for much encouragement in that area. I have done extensive genealogical research; employing resources of ancestry.com as well as numerous records depositories and historical societies, and even the DNA projects of National Geographic, Family Tree DNA & Tribes DNA.

The connection between the Celt and the Native American has not escaped me, and been reinforced by coming to know Sharon Paints the Sky and Scottish husband Barry Holton of Native Arts Trading in Aberdeenshire Scotland. Sharon wrote her PhD thesis on the cultural links of Celts and Native Americans. When these people were clan and tribe under their chiefs life was relatively simple and safe, but many threats and tragedies became their legacy.

For the most part our family have always been farmer warriors; both out of necessity. That it's said of the Scotch Irish "they were born fighting" is not far from the truth, and it is really a tragic legacy in many ways. My people of Gaelic ancestry often sought a life as mercenaries, fighting for money without regard for side or cause, even against their own kin! Both Gaels and Lakota were forced out of their farmer, hunter, gatherer roles into other lands and ways.

The lengthier story is told elsewhere in "From Clan to Tribe" by this same writer, but my personal pilgrimage (vision quest) has deepened the knowledge of family and faith of the Watters of The Route, County Antrim and of the West Highlands & Isles of Scotland, the historic kingdom of Dalriada (5th to 8th century plus). And, the Sicangu Lakota of the 1800's who became family along the way. The story continues to be written . . . Mitakuye oyasin, beannacht De ort.

A letter to cousins—7 January 2018

Dear cousins Carol Watters Larkin and Nora Watters Calhoun,

I hope this message finds you firstly, and then also finds you well? I am c: my cousin Sam Watters here as well, who has asked recently about the mysterious Lakota connection. Sadly, not much progress on that particular side. While there are indeed many Watters living on Pine Ridge and other reservations, uncovering related records or stories seems impossible? What we do know is that great grandfather Samuel Watters and brother John both took Lakota wives in their fur trading days. Great Grandmother Isabel Marshal (Maricotte) was daughter to a French fur trader father and Sicangu (Brule) Lakota mother.

In early 2014 I went to both Scotland and Northern Ireland on pilgrimage and vision quest. That was an exceedingly profitable trip for genealogical purposes, but also a beautiful spiritual time for me personally. Herewith a summary of those travels and some photos too:

In May of 2014 I joined a pastor friend of mine, Jack McNary, and about 18 other folk on a Celtic Pilgrimage to Scotland. While the group's focus was Celtic Christian history and sites (as well as a few distilleries), I also hoped to connect with cousins in Glasgow and on the Kintyre peninsula. The Highlands and Isles were delightful, especially Iona and Skye for me personally. Inverness and Edinburgh were also delightful. At the end of two weeks, the group went home to the USA, and I went "home" to Northern Ireland. Oh my did I go home!

I flew out of Edinburgh to Belfast City. By now I had discovered that we Watters were the Antrim County family, and not those of Belfast and "The Troubles". I did a black cab personal tour with a Catholic gentleman who had insight into our family and related history from The Route of County Antrim. But, I felt a fire within to get to the North, and so rented a car (manual with left hand shift!!!) heading up the coast toward the Glens of Antrim. When I arrived at my lodging on the outskirts of Bushmills I felt as if I had come home, though never having been there before? When I talked story with my hosts lo and behold they informed me that their BnB was actually the old farmhouse of the Watters family! The farm was sold and surviving family members moved elsewhere; Jim (James) to Glasgow, his daughter to Kintyre, and James brother Samuel in an Alzheimers home in nearby Portrush. Sadly, Samuel was declining rapidly and a visit by me was not recommended by others who knew him. The hosts told me that the Wiley family were great friends of the Watters (adjoining farms) and suggested contacting them. I eventually ended up at another BnB owned and operated by William Wiley and his wife (in their 80's!!!). William was so excited to see me and make a Watters connection "across the pond". He ran (surprisingly fast for an old codger) to his pantry (kitchen) and reappeared with a photograph. It was two of his childhood friends, William and Sam Watters. He went on to tell me much about the Watters of the Rowte and give me suggestions for further searches and contacts. I then began to piece together generations of history that also suggested even deeper history back to the 5th century! I found the grave stones William Wiley told me of at Dunluce Presbyterian Church (relocated to Bushmills after Dunluce was sacked by the British in the late 18th century. I visited with both the Presbyterian manse ("bishop") and the parish head of the Catholic church (friends by the way). They gave me much history as well, telling me that the Watters were both Irish Catholic and Presbyterian! That bit of information confirmed what the cab driver in Belfast told me, including that Watters were part of the United Irishmen of the late 18th century, a group opposing British rule and made up of Irish Catholics and Presbyterians, not the always assumed conflict of Protestant vs Catholic that later epitomized "The Troubles". Th real conflict was/is political, between home rule folks that happen to be primarily Catholic these days, and Unionists faithful to the Crown who are predominantly of the Anglican Church of England.

Anyway, it became clear that these were the Watters of Great Great Grandfather James and his wife Ann Lowery. In fact, Ann was the daughter of a former manse of a Presbyterian church in that area. Later, I made one more interesting visit to the oldest licensed distillery in the world, Bushmills. I did the tour of course, and when it ended the conversation came to family talk and lo and behold again, a 5X great grandfather James was on the books there as Master distiller! I got the royal treatment, ushered into a back bar area where the delights of Bushmills were opened up and shared with the current managers and staff. As a side note, Bushmills Black Bush is now a favorite of both my sons.

Here's a piece I wrote in my journal, can't remember if it was while on the trip or shortly after returning home?

The Watters; Irish Scoti of Dalriada, and Lakota too . . .

Mitakuye oyasin, beannacht De ort.

So cousins, I hope this has been helpful, but mostly entertaining in a family "talk story" sense. Just trying to keep it alive for future generations.

Patrick Roland Watters (aka anonemoose monk, Muddy Moose, Perching Eagle, Pops, Papa . . . )

It is Earth Day 2023—we are traveling from our home base in Minot, ND to

Theodore Roosevelt NP southwesterly.

It is deeply appropriate in many ways that we are here:

• my birthplace in Riverdale after 72 years

• the Bakken oil fields and their utter devastation upon the land and people

• Roosevelt’s place of healing and transformation along the Little Missouri

"We have become great because of the lavish use of our resources. But the time has come to inquire seriously what will happen when our forests are gone, when the coal, the iron, the oil, and the gas are exhausted, when the soils have still further impoverished and washed into the streams, polluting the rivers, denuding the fields and obstructing navigation."

"I recognize the right and duty of this generation to develop and use the natural resources of our land; but I do not recognize the right to waste them, or to rob, by wasteful use, the generations that come after us."

"It is also vandalism wantonly to destroy or to permit the destruction of what is beautiful in nature, whether it be a cliff, a forest, or a species of mammal or bird. Here in the United States we turn our rivers and streams into sewers and dumping-grounds, we pollute the air, we destroy forests, and exterminate fishes, birds and mammals -- not to speak of vulgarizing charming landscapes with hideous advertisements. But at last it looks as if our people were awakening."

“Defenders of the short-sighted men who in their greed and selfishness will, if permitted, rob our country of half its charm by their reckless extermination of all useful and beautiful wild things sometimes seek to champion them by saying the ‘the game belongs to the people.’ So it does; and not merely to the people now alive, but to the unborn people.”

“The ‘greatest good for the greatest number’ applies to the number within the womb of time, compared to which those now alive form but an insignificant fraction. Our duty to the whole, including the unborn generations, bids us restrain an unprincipled present-day minority from wasting the heritage of these unborn generations. The movement for the conservation of wild life and the larger movement for the conservation of all our natural resources are essentially democratic in spirit, purpose, and method.”

All of these quotes are 100 years or so old, he was a visionary in them and foresaw with deep concern where we were headed…and are now!

“The United States at this moment occupies a lamentable position as being perhaps the chief offender among civilized nations in permitting the destruction and pollution of nature. Our whole modern civilization is at fault in the matter. But we in America are probably most at fault … We treasure pictures and sculpture. We regard Attic temples and Roman triumphal arches and Gothic cathedrals as of priceless value.”

Hoofnote: I am Celtic and Lakota, an ecologist from birth and now an old ecotheologist…there is nothing more I can to TR above other than my favorite salutation in closing, “Mitákuye oyàsin, hozho naashadoo, beannacht.”

[All are my relatives (Lakota), therefore I will walk in harmony (Navajo/Diné), blessed to blessing (Irish Gaelic).]

Patrick Perching Eagle

aka anonemoose monk }:- a.m.

“en Christo”

Conclusion or Tatti and I have just returned from what we have decided is our last global travel trip. Ecuador’s Amazon rainforest and the Galapagos archipelago were remarkable, yet also deeply spiritual and even emotional for us. Along with all the beauty was the continuous stark realization that we humans are destroying it all, and our penchant for travel adds to the spectre of climate change that humanity has wrought upon Mother Earth.

Ecuador Amazon & Galapagos 2024—41st Anniversary…one last journal entry

Sunday, 3 March 2024: We depart Sacramento to LAX on our first leg to Quito. It is the third Sunday of Lent…Resurrection is nigh. Arrived in Houston smoothly, our bags are still with us. 👍🏽 Next stop Quito, Ecuador at the crack of dawn on 4 March. 🥱😴

Monday, 4 March: Slept 🛌 hard and awoke to wonderful Ecuadorian coffee and traditional breakfast. Visited the botanical gardens.

Tuesday, 5 March Happy Anniversary and our tour begins in earnest. Equator and Casa Agave. Spicy Restaurant is good for everything here at the hotel. 👍🏽

Quito is 2.3 million people at 9K feet in the Andes and from wealthy to impoverished in the extreme. #thirdworld

Wednesday, 6 March to Saturday, 9 March at Yarino Ecolodge, Napo River area of the Amazon Rainforest. Birds and monkeys galore!!! And back to Quito for a few days before Galapagos.

Group travel always has its downsides…annoying, self-centered, “uppity” people. A big reason we DIY most of our adventures. Sadly, some of these folks seem to be chasing happiness, but live pretty shallow lives from my perspective.

Saturday, 5 March a crazy museum then shopping for family at the local market near the hotel.

Sunday, 6 March the group is headed out to explore old historic Quito…after a long night of traveler’s diarrhea I’ve decided to spend a relaxing day reading, napping and writing at the hotel. Tomorrow will be more our thing anyway—Pappalacta Hot Springs.

Quito is densely populated and sprawling across the land. It’s also a vast decaying metropolis with only sporadic glimpses of beauty among the ghostly vacant places. ☹️

Yay! Off to the Galapagos tomorrow! The real reason we decided to take this trip.

The Galapagos and our small boat (floating hotel) is all we had hoped for, and yes we’ve seen plenty of Blue Footed Boobies along with the myriad other residents here!

[NOTE: It is far more crowded here than in the 70’s. The NP is raising fees triple next year, but I suspect crowds will still come even with their restrictions on numbers and access. That said, the work and education here is important and critical for Earth survival.]

Our guide in the Galápagos is biologist and environmentalist Peter Freire who is famous across the archipelago but also abroad. Born and raised on Floreana Island he returned from university on the mainland to make his life here. He is a professional diver (free and scuba) who is well known for saving a whale shark who was caught in a net, a true hero of Ecuador and a delightful human being.

“Highlights”—besides seeing all the unique endemic species we had hoped too…yesterday Patti slipped on some stairs after snorkeling, I caught her below but not before she hit her lower back. Today after snorkeling I slipped on a wet deck and completely flexed my right knee beneath me…I’m sitting now with it elevated, inside a compression sleeve, with ice bag on top. 😳 I think our global adventures may be over? God is speaking to us… 🤪

I’m with these two, “snorkeled out” and just wanna nap. 😴 Only a couple days left and beginning to anticipate our return home to family. 🥰 I’ve had it with the more annoying members of the group…their noisy, arrogant nonsense is an undesirable distraction to say the least. Not sure they are truly learning anything as they continue with stupid questions and keep taking phone photos of the same things over and over again! They dampen my hopes that humanity may be able to come together to save the planet?!

Last night our guide asked me to share my perspective as an old ecologist. I had to confess to feeling a twinge of guilt for being here…the carbon loaded consumptiveness of it all. I don’t like adding to climate change destruction.

We are about to disembark our boat for our first leg home from Ecuador. It has been a memorable trip, yet has also convinced both of us that we are done with global travel. Not just the hassles and long flights, but the consumptive nature of it as it relates to contributing negatively to climate change.

Toward the end of our time in the Galapagos I “checked out” from being “connected” to our group. As they took another of hundreds of photos of the same creatures while asking me again what they were, I decided to simply look and “listen” to my more sensible relatives as they revealed things to me…not the least of which was their amusement with the clueless, stupid humans that entertained them like circus clowns.

I hope people have gained not just an appreciation for the wild, but a deep desire to make a difference in helping Mother Earth as she cries out. Alas, behavior and rhetoric in this little group I fear reflects the masses of broken humanity…disconnected from Creation, disconnected from themselves as children of Divine LOVE, disconnected from their own true selves in Their image.

LORD have mercy…

Did I say HOT & HUMID?! Be prepared if you come to Ecuador, especially the Galapagos where AC is an open window. 😳🥵

We humans are a strange species indeed…attached to screens of artificial reality and intelligence, but sadly detached from true reality and our true nature.

Ahhhh finally home…highlights:

Lupé and her Kichwa village on the Napo River
Peter saves a turtle off Santiago Island on the 26th Anniversary of Parque Nacional Galapagos

I believe I’ll limit future wandering to nearby places…all our best wishes to Grand Circle and OAT…keep educating. 👍🏽

Hoofnote: Only days after their return many folks can’t even recall the names of places they’ve been nor those things they’ve seen. 😳🫤

Final Conclusion—

From now on our adventures will be taken in our little electric car, with an intention to be as “green” as possible. For the most part we are “full time grandparents” and grateful for this season surrounded by family. It is enough…life is good. Anyway, hope you’ve enjoyed “the ride” here and found something of or for yourself?

Patrick }:- a.m.

Patrick’s Newsletter

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